The Delusions of Kate Bosworth

From the "When Monkeys Fly Out of my Butt" file:

Apparently Neal Sean over at gossip site Sky News talked with the incredible shrinking Kate Bosworth recently about all things Singerman and beyond. For those of you consuming a beverage at the moment, I recommend finishing it before reading any further because you run the risk of ruining your monitor.

Finished? Good. Here we go:

"Thanks to her starring role as Lois Lane in the recent Superman movie, Kate Bosworth is much in demand. And...is already planning her portrayal of Lois in the next Superman film.She said: "Lois will be back bigger and better in the next movie, and with more of her own storyline.""

I can only imagine the amount of thought she must be putting into the part, after her vapid, lifeless portrayal of the iconic character in Singerman's first go around, proving what we had said all along, that she was overwhelmed by the part and looked terribly miscast. Although I can't quite fathom exactly how much more of a Lois storyline they could possibly cram into another movie, if we're somehow unlucky enough to have another one with her in it forced upon us like a drunken uncle? I mean instead of constantly watching Singerman mope over her, will we just be seeing close-ups of her looking defiant, while we're told by some supporting cast member that Singerman is moping over her off camera? I should probably stop there and not give Harris and Dougherty any more ideas.

"Not only that, but I can reveal there are plans to give Lois Lane her very own investigation spin-off."

Did someone at the studio tell you this to get you in bed or something? I mean c'mon girl, the feature film allegedley about Superman is limping it's way to semi-profitability, and you think they're going to give YOU of all people their own spin-off film? What's Lois going to do? Investigate news, get into trouble, and then wait for the rescue that never comes? Then again, I guess some people could argue that Singerman WAS a Lois Lane spinoff in the first place, so perhaps maybe she's not that far off-base?

"What will the caped crusader think about that?"

I dont know Neal? What do you think BATMAN would think about that? Probably the same thing that most anyone with a half of a functioning cortex would think: that the idea blows. Superman on the other hand...