<--If Routh takes this out of the box, does that constitute playing with himself?
The season of giving is upon us! And we here at Singer's Superman Sucks continue to give to you, our loyal blog readers because we care. We're here this week to help you with a problem some of you might come across this holiday season. That problem of course, would be those unwanted Singerman gifts! (cue the horror music)
Everyone has that aunt who's gotten a bit senile in her old age and has trouble telling the difference between the toilet and the kitchen sink. She "knows" you like "that Superman fella," and in her bewilderment at the giant electronics store with all the flashing lights and loud music, she picks you up a copy of Singerman. You open it, give her a half-assed smile as she kisses you with breath that's some ungodly combination of tuna fish and moth balls. Or perhaps you just got the DVD because you weren't aware they stuck it into the Ultimate Collector's Edition box set, and are trying to figure out why? You then contemplate how far the thing could fly if tossed out your car window at 70 mph or perhaps which one of your buddies DVD collections you're going to hide it in to see if he notices.
Well fret not my friends! Don't waste those DVD's. With a little patience and a dash of creativity you can make "Singer-ade" out of Singerman! Here's a few ideas of ours. Submit your own suggestions in the comments section.
Perhaps you or someone you know has a cat... or two... or six. Well with a little hot glue, a plastic handle, and a bit or patience, you've got this handy, dandy kitty litter scoop! You know how they say "fight fire with fire?" Well now you can scoop crap with crap! Maybe that same senile, old aunt who gave you the damn DVD in the first place who has the cats and you can "re-gift" it back to her. Hell, it's not like she's going to notice anyway! If you don't know anyone with cats, try to pass them off as ping pong paddles or maybe even a spackle knife! Either way it'll be the most action these DVD's have ever seen.
Maybe there's a special lady in your life who's a little on the ummm "big-boned" side and she really likes to accessorize her outfits. Well then just slap some thin iron clasps into these babies and you've got yourself a pretty snazzy pair of dangly earrings. And don't forget our gender bending friends who like to play dress up either!
Tired of cups and glasses leaving those darn rings on your furniture? Well just take your Singerman DVD's, a little hot glue, and some cork board, and in a matter of minutes you've got yourself a lovely decorative coaster set that the whole family can enjoy! If Singerman can hold up a giant island made of Kryptonite, he should have no trouble at all with your vodka martini or a Diet Pepsi!
If your feeling really crafty and say someone gives you a multi-disc set of Singerman, try making a festive holiday wreath! You may think you don't need a holiday wreath made of Singerman DVD's, but every day I hear you crying for one! The best part is that it's REALLY easy to do! Just like Bryan Singer you can hastily slap it together, add in some semi-cohesive glue, and then throw a bunch of garbage onto it and see what sticks! Sure it's not as good as real, traditional wreath, but who cares? It's yours to do with as you please.