<--If Routh takes this out of the box, does that constitute playing with himself? The season of giving is upon us! And we here at Singer's Superman Sucks continue to give to you, our loyal blog readers because we care. We're here this week to help you with a problem some of you might come across this holiday season. That problem of course, would be those unwanted Singerman gifts! (cue the horror music)
Everyone has that aunt who's gotten a bit senile in her old age and has trouble telling the difference between the toilet and the kitchen sink. She "knows" you like "that Superman fella," and in her bewilderment at the giant electronics store with all the flashing lights and loud music, she picks you up a copy of Singerman. You open it, give her a half-assed smile as she kisses you with breath that's some ungodly combination of tuna fish and moth balls. Or perhaps you just got the DVD because you weren't aware they stuck it into the Ultimate Collector's Edition box set, and are trying to figure out why? You then contemplate how far the thing could fly if tossed out your car window at 70 mph or perhaps which one of your buddies DVD collections you're going to hide it in to see if he notices.
Well fret not my friends! Don't waste those DVD's. With a little patience and a dash of creativity you can make "Singer-ade" out of Singerman! Here's a few ideas of ours. Submit your own suggestions in the comments section.
Perhaps you or someone you know has a cat... or two... or six. Well with a little hot glue, a plastic handle, and a bit or patience, you've got this handy, dandy kitty litter scoop! You know how they say "fight fire with fire?" Well now you can scoop crap with crap! Maybe that same senile, old aunt who gave you the damn DVD in the first place who has the cats and you can "re-gift" it back to her. Hell, it's not like she's going to notice anyway! If you don't know anyone with cats, try to pass them off as ping pong paddles or maybe even a spackle knife! Either way it'll be the most action these DVD's have ever seen.
Maybe there's a special lady in your life who's a little on the ummm "big-boned" side and she really likes to accessorize her outfits. Well then just slap some thin iron clasps into these babies and you've got yourself a pretty snazzy pair of dangly earrings. And don't forget our gender bending friends who like to play dress up either!
Tired of cups and glasses leaving those darn rings on your furniture? Well just take your Singerman DVD's, a little hot glue, and some cork board, and in a matter of minutes you've got yourself a lovely decorative coaster set that the whole family can enjoy! If Singerman can hold up a giant island made of Kryptonite, he should have no trouble at all with your vodka martini or a Diet Pepsi!
If your feeling really crafty and say someone gives you a multi-disc set of Singerman, try making a festive holiday wreath! You may think you don't need a holiday wreath made of Singerman DVD's, but every day I hear you crying for one! The best part is that it's REALLY easy to do! Just like Bryan Singer you can hastily slap it together, add in some semi-cohesive glue, and then throw a bunch of garbage onto it and see what sticks! Sure it's not as good as real, traditional wreath, but who cares? It's yours to do with as you please.
66 comments:
All I want for christmas is a dog eating dog, a flying piano, some radioactive real-estate, and a bastard child!
Hey, SSS, you forgot one use: As a tranquilizer! This snooze-fest would put people to sleep in no-time flat!
Having trouble sleeping? Try Singerman Peeps! Your eyelids will be feeling like 2-ton bricks faster than you can say "Wasn't there two of those?"! The best part is, no adverse side-effects! This turd is so uninspired, you'll forget about it before you wake up the next morning!
Stupidman Returns can also be used as a tool to getting rid of unwanted vistors during the holiday season.
Just pop that puppy into the DVD player and watch all those free-loaders stumble all over each other while making thier way to the exit.
What in the world?! That is the ugliest doll I have ever seen! In all seriousness, it looks like a Ken doll! I had a male doll for one of my Barbies that looked just like it!
are you talking about the one in the box or the one holding it?
All I want for Christmas is for the second Singerman to get released so it can flop like the first so in ten years someone like Nolon can come along and give Superman a reboot and his dignity back.
Bryan Singer=Joel Schumacher
Superman Returns=Batman Forever
The Man of Steel= Batman and Robin
The trilogy ends summer 2009
I really laugh my ass off anytime anyone brings up Nolan as a means of bashing Singer considering BB was outgrossed by SR. You guys can talk about SR budget all you want at the end of the day more people were interested in SR then BB.
I agree talk about Raimi if you want to bash Singer, Spiderman is a smash BB was not a huge hit by any means.
You have to remember that BB came off the back of Batman and Robin and had to reintroduce the character. People didnt like B&R so were less interested in another Batman film.
There hasnt been a Supes film in so long that of course more people were going to go to see it. The true test will be when The Dark Knight comes out and The Man of Steel comes out and we compare those numbers as both franchises will be on an equal footing.
Yeah I don't see why apologists like to bring BB's box office to the table when comparing the rehash/superboy-begins to Nolan's attempt to re-establish batman after the embarrassment that was the last sequel. "Well durr, SR beat batman begins!! ha ha ha, me think it show that begins was da failure!!111 durrr"
To my knowledge, this was NEW. Begins was striking out on its own, not using some old movie as a crutch. And I can't recall any franchise ever that had to pick itself back up after stumbling into hell full of rubber nipples and shit like that.
So what Nolan had going against his film was:
1. No one's really tried to revitalize a dead franchise like this before.
2. B&R was still FRESH in people's minds since most of the target audience for Begins WILL remember B&R.
So taking that into consideration, it's very lucky to have pulled in what it did. That's not to say it wasn't overrated by the army of online fanboys who were just happy not to see any silly butt shots and garbage like that. It's a decent movie, worth a watch. Outside the film itself, it's respectable for what it is, an attempt to bring respect back to the batman name at the movies, which no one really expected to happen.
It accomplished that. Fuck the box office. Batman is now BACK in black at the box office, and he's a serious, no bullshit batman we know and love.
Superman? Well... hmmm.... uhhh..
Hey, how dare you throw back in these "Apologist" faces that when it comes to quality, the BO doesn't matter UNLESS it suits their "Defense"?
And how they can attempt to state that Singerman is superior in ANY way shows what ludicrously low-levels their intelligence currently resides at.
Apologist are funny that way, box office doesn’t matter when it comes to SR and Pirates because in their view Pirates sucked but made a ton of money because people in the general public have no taste. But when it comes to Begins and SR; SR is better because it made more money. Everyone get the skewed logic now?
Batman Begins cost only 150 million to produce while Superman Returns clocked in before the added cost of failed projects at over 200 million to make, so realistically the comparison isn’t even baseline.
If you want to compare SR to something, how about comparing it to films in its own production cost weight class?
How does Singerman’s gross compare to Spiderman 2, X3, Dead Man’s Chest, or how about King Kong? Which many feel wasn’t a success at the box office during the holiday season in 05. For all of Kong’s short comings at the box office at least it won two Academy Awards. How many do you think Singerman is going to win? Most likely none, Singer’s piece of crap which has failed on every level is probably going to lose the sound and special effects nominations to Pirates if it’s nominated at all.
Ask yourself how Singerman held up pound for pound against a 35 million dollar low budget major release staring Ann Hathaway, which BTW ended up having stronger legs and better word of mouth then The Man of Singer.
Ahh, the legendary "The Devil Wears Prada While Kicking Superman Returns Ass". Anne Hathaway is a beautiful woman.
Batman Begins did better then Superman Returns domestically, but SR did better then BB internationally.
Maybe it’s because the US is clock full of moral and value movie goers that didn’t want to see a Singer's gay icon at the box office. As opposed to a lot of other places outside of the US that have pasted progressive gay rights legislation.
Anne Hathaway is a beautiful woman.
^^^
Ann Hathaway would have made a better Lois Lane then Bosworth. Although more then anything it was Singer's vision of Supes that made the film so bad.
Well, you have to remember, the world is a big place. The yare combining ALL of the other countries to get that total.
"Apologists" can tout International numbers all they want, the FACT is Batman Begins was a more profitable movie. In the end, that is the ONLY thing that matters.
No I don't think singer's sexuality can be used as any sort of excuse for his movie's dissapointment. It didn't stop the x-men... The Jesus of Steel shot itself in the foot by sucking so much.
It did indeed suck.
LOL at
The Jesus of Steel
“The Devil Wears Prada While Kicking Superman Returns Ass"
The Man of Singer
Anne Hathaway still has a "youthful" appearance and quirks, so she wouldn't have been a good choice for Lois. In a few years, when they decide to make a REAL Superman movie, she will be perfect.
No bad, frizzy wigs need apply for THAT woman.
True but I meant if the choice was between Hathaway and Bosworth.
I would take ONE of Anne Hathaways beautiful breasts in the role over "Stone-faced" Bosworth.
"If you want to compare SR to something, how about comparing it to films in its own production cost weight class?
How does Singerman’s gross compare to Spiderman 2, X3, Dead Man’s Chest, or how about King Kong? Which many feel wasn’t a success at the box office during the holiday season in 05."
Yeah and Spiderman only cost 139 mil and made over 800 mil. So does that mean BB sucks because it cost more and made far less. I really don't get this whole fanboy war amongst BB and SR fans. BB would have been a massive flop if it opened when SR this summer. It is good that it didn't because it was a good movie and deserved to make over 200 mil. I thought SR was good as well and also deserved to make 200 mil and frankly was lucky that it did relevant to it's competition.
Yes according to the fanboys on this blog the only reason SR made any money is because of it's I-Max figures. However if anyone who liked the film brings up it's competition specifically Pirates they are told to shut up and none of that was a factor. It is true hypocrisy at it's finest.
Are you sure the whole superboy and rehash of STM coulda maybe possibly perhaps with sprinkles on top been a factor???
:)
Singerman had the theaters all too itself for almost 9 days and disappointed. POTC2 shouldnt be used as an excuse. The Apologists act as if people only had $8 to go see a movie and could only see one or the other. Fact is, if there's enough interest, multiple films can do well in the same summer, i.e. Summer 2002 when you had Spider-man and AOTC.
"summer, i.e. Summer 2002 when you had Spider-man and AOTC.
Yeah and AOTC was the only SW movie to not be the biggest film of the year and factoring in inflation is the least successful of all the SW movies. As much money as it made Spiderman did hurt it's BO. SR made 108 mil in it's first week that is more than 20 mil better than BB. Care to guess what BB would have made at 20 plus mil less with Pirates dropping that next weekend? Did SR underperform nomatter what certainly it did but obviously competiton is a factor here don't act like an idiot and try to say otherwise. Hell in one of the documentaries in the ultimate collectors edition it was being discussed that Superman 2 probably would have outgrossed STM had it not been competing directly with Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Yeah and Spiderman only cost 139 mil and made over 800 mil. So does that mean BB sucks because it cost more and made far less.
No, it doesn’t mean that BB sucked because SM 1 made a ton more. It just means for once Time Warner made a wise economic choice by not giving Nolon and crew over 200 million to burn on production of a film that would result in huge sunk costs had it not covered the spread.
Competition from other films does matter somewhat but isn’t completely to blame when a big budgeted film like SR massively underachieves.
So for the next Singer Supes adventure WB better not release it in the same summer with films in the vain of Spider-Man, Wolverine, Pirates, Pixar Animation, Wayans Brothers productions, Fantastic Four or 35 million dollar films staring Ann Hathaway or it could be another long underachieving summer for Supes, Singer and WB.
WB's best bet would be to release it the week after a Tom Cruise film, although if Cruise can somehow reboot his image then this might be a bad idea also seeing that WB's Poseidon couldn't even dethrone MI: 3 in its second week.
Also it should be noted that Singerman opened one week after Dead Man’s Chest in the UK and still couldn’t premiere at the number 1 spot.
I have a feeling that the sequel will open in the late summer, like late July or in the winter season..Thanksgiving weekend or something.
There isn't as much competition for those types of movies at this time of year.
While I believe that Pirates definitely affected the take, I don't think it's more than mabye 25 million.
"SR made 108 mil in it's first week that is more than 20 mil better than BB."
what is that supposed to prove? SR opened up on a 4th of July holiday weekend. BB opened up on June 15th. Regardless of it's opening week, BB outgrossed SR domestically by $5 million b/c it had better legs and a longer run at the Box office (20 weekends as opposed to SR's 18) and it didnt even have the IMAX bump that SR got.
"what is that supposed to prove? SR opened up on a 4th of July holiday weekend. BB opened up on June 15th. Regardless of it's opening week, BB outgrossed SR domestically by $5 million b/c it had better legs and a longer run at the Box office (20 weekends as opposed to SR's 18) and it didnt even have the IMAX bump that SR got."
Regardless of competiton is basically what you are saying yeah that is a real intelligent take, what do you flip burgers for a living?
"and it didnt even have the IMAX bump that SR got."
Yes it did moron BB was in I-Max as well, look it up.
Not in IMAX 3-D you "Apologist" twat.
Where are the excuses as to why the DVD numbers blow as well? And don't give me any bullshit about the "rentals being better in it's first 2 weeks than X3". THAT doesn't matter.
You "Apologist" morons will cling to ANY straw you can find. But guess what? The only thing you are clutching onto now is BS shriveled cock.
Like you, fuckwad, someone who can't seem to stop clinging to "BUT IT HAD IMAX...WAAAAAAAAAAA"
Stop sucking your own dick and actually think about what you say before you post it fucking fanboy faggot. Be sure to clean your cum up off of your prescious comic book.
"Stop sucking your own dick and actually think about what you say before you post it fucking fanboy faggot. Be sure to clean your cum up off of your prescious comic book."
Ohhh, looky here, an "Apologist" who is ALSO a homophobe? What are the odds someone who worships a film made by his homosexual diety calling others "faggot"??
As I am sure this is obvious to everyone with a brain, this fucktard PROVES you have to be an imbecile to like this "film". Pat yourself on the back, Gump. Or better yet, have Mommy do it.
Once again superman returns underperformed. Making it suck and Byran Singer is gay.
"Where are the excuses as to why the DVD numbers blow as well? And don't give me any bullshit about the "rentals being better in it's first 2 weeks than X3". THAT doesn't matter."
You got a link to back that shit you are talking about the DVD sales up, i thought not. Yet the numbers you do have about the rentals for SR being so good you claim are worthless, you are fucking pathetic buddy.
Fanboys are pathetic, if the internet was around when Superman 2 came out you would have heard non-stop bitching from all of them about the made up powers. God forbid anything is different from the comics they wack off to every night since they can't get a fucking date.
wow, a fan of Singerman referring to others as "faggot." I wonder what Singer and Spacey would think of that?
Yes it did moron BB was in I-Max as well, look it up.
I didnt say that BB wasnt in IMAX asshole, I merely said it didnt get the bump from it that Singerman did, which was most likely due to the fact it didnt have the 3D gimmick
"Fanboys are pathetic, if the internet was around when Superman 2 came out you would have heard non-stop bitching from all of them about the made up powers. God forbid anything is different from the comics they wack off to every night since they can't get a fucking date."
Actually, I find your Mom is MORE than willing to go out with me.
She's a whore.
Anyone else laughing at this half-wit, and his childish ANGER brought on by the fact this turd is a flop? He tries to insult OTHERS, when it is obvious you have to be a slope-headed, bastard child of incest to like this shit-fest.
How do I know you have to be a slope-headed bastard child of incest? Look 4 posts up, you'll see how I know...
"I didnt say that BB wasnt in IMAX asshole, I merely said it didnt get the bump from it that Singerman did, which was most likely due to the fact it didnt have the 3D gimmick"
You see the problem with that is films like Ant Bully and Open Season had the I-Max 3d and did not do nearly as well. If you want to use that as an excuse fine but you then can't turn around and discount SR competition as to why it did not make more money. It is an extremely hypocritical argument.
what the hell are you talking about??? What does SR's competition have to do with it's 3D footage on IMAX? And you cant compare animated 3D to live action 3D, it's not even remotely the same thing...
"what the hell are you talking about??? What does SR's competition have to do with it's 3D footage on IMAX? And you cant compare animated 3D to live action 3D, it's not even remotely the same thing..."
What you just said about the animation is really a matter of opinion. You don't think there are plenty of kids out there that would rather see animation in 3D than Superman flying.
Why does everyone bitch about this topic of the 3d footage adding to it's total and SR competition. the bottom line here is very simple. The I-Max 3D helped it but not nearly as much as it's competition hurt it.
in your apologist "mind" perhaps... Unfortunately for you, you cant substantiate either claim
"in your apologist "mind" perhaps... Unfortunately for you, you cant substantiate either claim"
Way to prove you know nothing about the BO and how it works. "Oh SR competition and it's I-Max had no effect on it's BO, yeah that is a real intelligent take".
Are the "Apologists" STILL spouting off about "competition" being the thing that sunk this turd? Yeah, I'm POSITIVE WB was afraid "The Devil Wears Prada While Kicking Superman Returns Ass" would do just that.
Talk about a lack of intelligence...
"Are the "Apologists" STILL spouting off about "competition" being the thing that sunk this turd? Yeah, I'm POSITIVE WB was afraid "The Devil Wears Prada While Kicking Superman Returns Ass" would do just that.
Talk about a lack of intelligence... "
Yep, that's exactly what you just proved. Your lack of intelligence. When the competition argument is brought up it's with regards to Pirates not Prada, which didn't hurt SR's box office since it is a film that attracts 2 completely different audiences.
But of course since you know that Pirates had an effect and you want to take a cheap shot so you feel better about your sad pathetic life you try and say that Prada kicked it's ass...Last I checked SR made more money than Prada.
"Yep, that's exactly what you just proved. Your lack of intelligence. When the competition argument is brought up it's with regards to Pirates not Prada, which didn't hurt SR's box office since it is a film that attracts 2 completely different audiences.
But of course since you know that Pirates had an effect and you want to take a cheap shot so you feel better about your sad pathetic life you try and say that Prada kicked it's ass...Last I checked SR made more money than Prada."
I did prove how stupid you are. Thanks for confirming that.
And guess what, retard? "The Devil Wears Prada While Kicking Superman Returns Ass" was more PROFITABLE than Singerman Peeps. That is ALL that matters. And since your diety, BS, proclaimed this a "chick flick", the audiences are NOT "seperate".
Keep trying, you fucking waste of breath. This "film" is a FLOP no matter how hard you losers try to claim otherwise.
"Keep trying, you fucking waste of breath. This "film" is a FLOP no matter how hard you losers try to claim otherwise."
Sure big budget films that are flops get sequels all the time, that makes a lot of sense.
"And since your diety, BS, proclaimed this a "chick flick", the audiences are NOT "seperate". "
Do you even read the stupid shit that comes out of your mouth? Nobody would say that SR and TDWP were trying to get the same audience. BS's chick flick comment was a comment on the romantic undertones of Supes and Lois's relationship.
"The Devil Wears Prada While Kicking Superman Returns Ass" was more PROFITABLE than Singerman Peeps. That is ALL that matters."
Typical dumb hater bullshit. "Hmm...let me change my arguement since an apologist just made a point." The argument was not who was more profitable dipshit, it was did TDWP kick it's ass in BO gross. And the answer is NO!!! But you won't acknowledge that, because like any half brained hater you refuse to acknowledge anything beyond your pathetic fanboy opinions.
"Typical dumb hater bullshit. "Hmm...let me change my arguement since an apologist just made a point." The argument was not who was more profitable dipshit, it was did TDWP kick it's ass in BO gross. And the answer is NO!!! But you won't acknowledge that, because like any half brained hater you refuse to acknowledge anything beyond your pathetic fanboy opinions."
Since "The Devil Wears Prada While Kicking Superman Returns Ass" was made for $35 Million dollars, and made $317 Million, it DID kick it's ass you no-brain cow-fucker. Ask ANYONE with a brain which movie was more SUCCESSFUL and you will see, Gump.
These retarded Apologists think all that matters is Singerman Peeps made a few more million dollars, never stopping to think about how much it cost to make, how LONG it took to get there, and about the IMAX boost. Let me guess, half-wit, "The Devil Wears Prada While Kicking Superman Returns Ass" had IMAX too, right?
But we already know his tired excuse: "it doesn't matter poopoo-head cuz it was the bestest movie ever hater dum-dum".
You really don't see how dumb you come off..The argument was which movie did better at the BO, not which movie turned the bigger profit.
Stop trying to deflect the argument to where you know your point will be valid, when you were just proven to be an absolute idiot. SR beat TDWP by almost 80 million dollars...I highly doubt that the movie made an 80 million dollar difference.
Get a clue before you spill shit out of your mouth fucknut!
You make all the intelligent haters look bad.
"The argument was which movie did better at the BO, not which movie turned the bigger profit."
There it is in a nutshell. Anyone else see how fucking stupid that statement is? I'm sure anyone with a brain can.
See, retard, when a film costs $35 million dollars to make, and makes $317 million dollars vs. a film that cost $240 million dollars to make and makes $390 million, it DID do better at the box office. That is what is called a "box office hit". Singerman Peeps is considered a "box office disappointment". But enough with the common-sense lesson, since you are obviously an ignoramous and a 12 year old to boot.
You are as stupid as your mom is loose. And that stinky bitch is LOOSE.
Which movie made more at the BO? That's the question. Not which movie made more profit. Again, you are just fucking ignorant. I never said that TDWP didn't make more of a profit. And it is considered the bette success because of the profit margin. But as far as how much it made at the BO, Superman Returns beat it by almost 80 million.
SR-200 million
TDWP- 124 million.
That means that more people went to see SR. Which means that TDWP did not kick it's ass in BO take. SR did. It just didn't have the profit margin that TDWP had.
But this discussion is moot anyway, because as soon as the sequel is green lit then this blog becomes useless.
"But this discussion is moot anyway, because as soon as the sequel is green lit then this blog becomes useless."
Anyone else feel sorry for inbred retards like this guy? I mean, common-sense means NOTHING to these "Apologist" twats. Hey Jim-Bob, show me where it was stated "The Devil Wears Prada While Kicking Superman Returns Ass" made more money at the BO by anyone but YOU. You can't, can you shit-for-brains?
And see how fast WB is rushing forward with a "sequel"? Touting Singerman Peeps over-whelming DVD sales? Oh yeah, they AREN'T.
"And see how fast WB is rushing forward with a "sequel"? Touting Singerman Peeps over-whelming DVD sales? Oh yeah, they AREN'T. "
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Well they didn't announce the sequel for Batman Begins until a year after its release so I don't think we can take anything from this.
It is getting a sequel and all of you guys hoping Singer is going to be fired that is highly unlikely to happen. He has a great REP and is not going anywhere unless he himself decides he wants out, which again is unlikely to happen since he seems very committed to the franchise. All this stuff is so similiar to what you saw when SW episode 2 came out so many fans were horrified and had no faith in Lucas for episode 3. It came out and most fans loved it so give Singer a chance and at least go in with an open mind to the sequel.
"It is getting a sequel and all of you guys hoping Singer is going to be fired that is highly unlikely to happen. He has a great REP and is not going anywhere unless he himself decides he wants out, which again is unlikely to happen since he seems very committed to the franchise. All this stuff is so similiar to what you saw when SW episode 2 came out so many fans were horrified and had no faith in Lucas for episode 3. It came out and most fans loved it so give Singer a chance and at least go in with an open mind to the sequel."
Ah yes, a "great REP", huh? Making a mediocre film that has VERY mediocre revenue REALLY bolsters your point.
He will be gone before they even seriously talk about a sequel. Watch and see. I know I will, because you "Apologists" are going to be a RIOT.
Personally, I'm an apologist(obviously), but if they were to fire BS I wouldn't care as long as someone is going to continue the story. They can fix the problems without going for a reboot that could fail miserably.
200 million is not a figure to laugh at. They have the beginnings of a franchise (as long as they address the fans complaints) on their hands and they know it.
"200 million is not a figure to laugh at. They have the beginnings of a franchise (as long as they address the fans complaints) on their hands and they know it."
Actually, it IS a figure to laugh at. BS had a whole lot of money to make a GREAT Superman film. Instead, we got Singerman Peeps.
And they "know it"? How do you figure a mediocre AT BEST first film gives them any confidence whatsoever?
It's not the quality I'm talking about. It still made almost 400 million dollars. That's a huge amount for the first movie in a franchise.
And by the way, I'm divorcing myself from the fact that I like the movie when I say that.
The movie cost an arm and a leg to make so if they can rake in the costs a bit then they have the beginnings of a very profitable franchise.
"It's not the quality I'm talking about. It still made almost 400 million dollars. That's a huge amount for the first movie in a franchise."
I hate to break it to you, but when the cost of the movie goes up, the expectations for returns goes WAY up. No pun intended. $400 million WORLDWIDE is not considered a "huge amount". Not even close. Thie film should have brought in $300 million domestically.
Unfortunately, BS made a film for HIMSELF. It really is inconceivable how the majority of "Apologists" REFUSE to see this. This film, and the money that went into it, should have produced something AMAZING. Instead, it produced *yawns*.
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